On the Experience of Feeling Overwhelmed

Stretch out your arms. Flex your fingers. Roll your shoulders forward and back a couple of times. Gently and slowly move your neck to the left, right, forward, and back, and then very gently roll it around in one direction and then the other.

Ask yourself how you are feeling now? On a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 is no distress and 10 is maximum distress, what would your score be? This is called a self-unit of distress scale (SUDS).

If you have scored 8, don’t expect to be able to sit still and get on with things when you are feeling distressed. Take a break now and try one of the following strategies.

Go for a quick walk. Ring a friend. Fill a sink with warm, soapy water and wash a couple of dishes, or even just leave your hands in the water for a few minutes. Look around you and focus on the details – describe to yourself the objects and materials around you. As you describe, keep it concrete, that is, at the sensory level – what you can see, hear, touch, taste, or feel. This kind of focus is an example of a ‘grounding’ exercise and is very helpful when feeling distressed, as it tends to quieten the mind and calm the body.

You might also try some conscious distractions. For example, listen to your favourite music, a previously enjoyed podcast episode, or a favourite computer game. Using a range of strategies when you’re distressed is sensible. Keep checking in with yourself.

Purposefully be self-compassionate. Treat yourself in the moment as you would a dear friend. The least effective strategy is to try and force yourself through it (and, of course, if you are very distressed, consider seeking professional help).

If you are feeling OK or ‘not too bad’ (a SUDS score of 7 or less), keep noticing your physical self. For example, are there areas of your body that you are particularly aware of right now? Try to notice any physical sensations as you pay attention to the different areas of your body. Sensations could include temperature, weight, tightness, and constriction. Just paying attention and noticing is enough.

The feeling of being overwhelmed is a very common experience at the Bar. It happens to people who are new to the Bar, as well as those with more experience. It happens to silks and to non-silks. It happens regardless of skill level, gender, jurisdiction in which you practice, type of matters that you handle, whether you like or dislike the work or the list you are on. It can happen when you are very busy and when you are not busy at all. Although it is a deeply uncomfortable and widespread problem, it is one that is very responsive to intervention.

When feeling overwhelmed, self-compassion will trump self-criticism every time.

When feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it is common to doubt your clear-thinking ability. Anxiety often decreases the ability to order one’s thinking, even if you’re typically systematic and logical. This is partially why anxiety can corrode your feelings of self-worth. Gaining a new perspective on your issues may feel impossible, but practising a process that includes some sort of externalising will help to alleviate this feeling, creating a kind of ‘reset’ towards the task challenges you currently face.

To begin such a reset process, dump on paper everything you have on your mind. Keep to a word or phrase for each concern or question and write it on individual pieces of paper. Don’t worry about putting the thoughts in any particular order at this stage, allowing yourself to accept the order in which they occur to you (writing by hand is psychologically more effective than using a keyboard).

When you finish, lay the papers out on the floor or other large clear surfaces. Stand back and consider what you have ‘dumped’. Look for themes. Write a name for each of the identified themes and do so on separate pieces of paper – perhaps using different coloured paper or markers – then put these on the floor also and move any related pieces of paper under those theme headings. The physical aspect of moving around, placing the paper, and relating to the material in a concrete way is beneficial, particularly as part of an anxiety-reducing strategy as described above.

At this point, stop and make a note of the personal attributes, qualifications, and experience you bring to your current work situation, particularly if your feelings of being overwhelmed have increased. This is to remind yourself of your authority; that is, that you have enough of what is required to handle the situation, including the ability to know when you will need to seek out other input to answer a question or get another opinion (seeking input does not equate to a lack of authority). Remind yourself that you are enough to handle your current challenges.

Stand back again and look at the themes and the points under the themes. Ask yourself: which theme is the most urgent right now?

Once you have made that choice, put the other themes and their related points out of sight, along with any points that do not as yet belong to a particular theme (and keep them in the order you have established so far).

Focusing only on your chosen theme, look at each piece of paper under that theme and ask yourself: what is involved here? List each related requirement or task.

Ask yourself, which of the subheadings under your chosen theme needs to be tackled first? Second? Third? Then number the subheadings accordingly.

If a gap in necessary knowledge occurs to you then note it down using as specific a description as possible.

Phrases such as: “I am hopeless”, “I am always stuffing up”, or “I will never understand this” may get in the way at this point. They are examples of NATS referred to earlier. They are also examples of the cognitive distortion of overgeneralizing. Notice the use of tell-tale words in your thoughts such as ‘never’ or ‘always’, or the absence of modifying language seen above in the phrase “I am hopeless”. These cognitive distortions can creep into our thinking and sabotage our efforts. Try and let them come and go without engaging further with the thought. Keep the notes about gaps in knowledge short, non-personal, and specific. Put them to one side.

Take a 5–10-minute break. Walk outside, stretch, listen to music, doodle – do something that requires a shift in attention and preferably uses a different part of the brain (using a computer, smartphone, or tablet is not advisable, but if you must, be mindful of its potential to increase your stress levels by being reminded of additional tasks, becoming distracted by emails or by getting overly caught up in non-productive and time-consuming net surfing).

• Look at your number 1 subheading (and the associated task points) and start working on these tasks and do so for 20 minutes (set a timer).
• Break for 2 to 3 minutes and then do another 20-minute block.^[1]
• Ensure that you give yourself a least a 10-15 minute break after every 5 x 20-minute blocks.

[1] The use of the timed 20 minute block is known as the Pomodoro Technique see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique

If while working on one point, you become distracted by another item, quickly note down the item and your question or concern in a sentence or less and put this with the related theme. But only do this if the point is worth noting. A NAT about the item does not warrant a note. Return to the point that you were working on before you became distracted.

Stick to the area you have chosen until you have addressed each of the task points. If you become aware of a missing piece of information or the need to consult someone, ask yourself if this is the optimum time to do so, or could it be an avoidance strategy?

Notice each time you feel the urge to move away from the task and how this manifests, such as surfing the net/ coffee/ reading emails/ sending emails/ making a phone call/ chatting etc.

Make a mental note to reflect on these urges at the end of the day, with a view to identifying (and then resisting) the patterns in your avoidance. Avoid being critical of yourself, adopting a curious stance instead.

Once a ‘Theme area’ is completed (or as complete as possible), look at the remaining themes and see if the numbers you have allocated are still relevant in light of what you have learned while working on the theme chosen so far. Make any necessary adjustments, including re-organising or allocation of points to new themes and noting down new questions and thoughts under appropriate headings.

Repeat the process for Theme No. 2 and beyond!

Acknowledge your progress regularly (preferably with a visual system that allows you to notice each 20 minutes of focused effort).

Ensure you take breaks – even the 2–3-minute variety. Stand up and move around, away from your desk. Look out a window. Remind yourself that you are doing the best that can be done by anyone and that you are giving your total concentration to one thing at a time and one which you have chosen to work on at that moment. You are focusing. You are approaching the task in a systematic manner. You are quickly capturing relevant ideas and thoughts and putting them aside to be dealt with at the appropriate time. You are learning to dismiss negativity. You are beginning to notice any patterns regarding avoidance which is the first step towards change. You are OK.